The Decision to Love
By Lena & Lawrence Crudup
 We
work in marriage preparation ministry. We find our efforts with engaged couples
to be a blessing for us and a source of spiritual growth. Over our years of
service we have had moments of profound awareness that the Holy Spirit is
present in this work and is calling us to a more intense faith relationship. We
understand that our marriage like our lives and our children are gifts from God.
A few years ago while we were on a married couples
retreat we were given a copy of an older version of the introduction to the rite
of marriage. We found the introduction very inspiring and insightful. We share
it here.
My dear friends: You are about to enter into a union
which is most sacred and most serious. It is most sacred, because it has been
established by God Himself; most serious because it will bind you together for
life in a relationship so close and so intimate, that it will profoundly
influence your whole future. That future, with its hopes and disappointments,
its successes and its failures, its pleasures and its pains, its joys and its
sorrows, is hidden from your eyes. You know that these elements are mingled in
every life, and are to be expected in your own. And so not knowing what is
before you, you take each other for better or for worse, for richer or for
poorer, in sickness and in health, until death.
Truly, then, these words are most serious. It is a
beautiful tribute to your undoubted faith in each other, that recognizing their
full import, you are nevertheless, so willing and ready to pronounce them. And
because these words involve such solemn obligations, it is most fitting that you
rest the security of your wedded life upon the great principle of
self-sacrifice. And so you begin your married life by the voluntary and complete
surrender of your individual lives in the interest of that deeper and wider life
which you are to have in common. Henceforth you belong entirely to each other;
you will be one in mind, one in heart, and one in affections. And whatever
sacrifices you may hereafter be required to make to preserve this common life,
always make them generously. Sacrifice is usually difficult and irksome. Only
love can make it easy; and perfect love can make it joy. We are willing to give
in proportion as we love. And when love is perfect the sacrifice is complete.
God so loved the world that He gave His Only begotten Son; and the Son so loved
us that He gave Himself for our salvation. "Greater love than this no man hath,
that a man lay down his life for his friends."
No greater blessing can come to your married life than pure conjugal love, loyal and true to the end. May, then, this love, which you join your hands and hearts today, never fail, but grow deeper and stronger as the years go on. And if true love and the unselfish spirit of perfect sacrifice guide your every action, you can expect the greatest measure of earthly happiness that may be allotted to man in this vale of tears. The rest is in the hands of God. Nor will God be wanting to your needs. He will pledge you the life-long support of His graces in the Holy Sacrament which you are now going to receive.
 With the exception of the some of the dated language such as irksome, this text depicts the reality of the tests and caresses that are a part of every married life. Love is the genesis of the marriage relationship the introduction shows. It also focuses on the role of self-sacrifice as a necessary element of a sacramental marriage. The sacrifice of self for others is what Jesus does for us. He is the model of loving that our faith calls us into.
In our age where our world coaches us in self interest, power games and materialism, we must bear in mind that love means self-sacrifice. Sacrifice is sometimes described as turning from self interest and sin and back to God. Having to let go of self is irksome. Turning is the motion of conversion. This turning requires us to use our graced strength of character to fight against the weight of popular thought and selfish behavior. We have the task of swimming against the currents so that Christ's love is made more present in the world. We as married persons are presented each day with the opportunity to renew our pledges to each other by giving ourselves lovingly to our spouse and by giving our relationship to the building of God's Kingdom. Our ability to love is a gift from God. We are challenged each day to decide how to use our loving nature.
Lena & Lawrence Crudup, natives of Portsmouth VA, reside in Harrisburg, PA. We have been married for 36 years. Parents of two children Lawrence and Lisa. Lena is a library circulation manager; Lawrence is a pharmaceutical sales representative. Members of Holy Name of Jesus Church, Diocese of Harrisburg, PA. We have worked in marriage preparation for 30 years.
to top of page
|
