The Basics of Being Married in the Catholic Church
By Rev. Raymond L. Harris, Jr.
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I am Catholic and my fiancé(e) is not Catholic. Are there any issues for us to consider?

The Catholic Church has two concerns. First, does the Catholic intend to remain in communion with the Church? This is not an insignificant question. He or she was incorporated into the Church when baptized. Second, in light of the Catholic understanding of marriage, will the Catholic make a sincere effort to baptize and raise his or her children as Catholics?

The Catholic party is asked to make a commitment to positively address these concerns, which is stated as follows:

I reaffirm my faith in Jesus Christ and with God's help intend to continue living that faith in the Catholic Church. I promise to do all in my power to share the faith I have received with our children by having them baptized and reared as Catholics.²

The non-Catholic party is informed about the commitment of the Catholic party. He or she is not required to make the same commitment. If the Catholic party makes this commitment, then the parish will request the diocesan bishop to grant permission for a marriage of "mixed religion."

Regarding the second commitment, consider the phrase, "all in my power." The Catholic party should make a sincere effort to work things out with his or her intended spouse. What is not acceptable is to wait until the child can make a decision. Parents do not draw this conclusion regarding other issues of child rearing. It is also not acceptable to "split" the religious ceremonies for the child (e.g., baptism in the Catholic Church and Holy Communion elsewhere).

This can be a delicate matter for the couple. In the final analysis, the indissolubility of the marriage and the stability of family life are the paramount concerns. Couples intending to marry in the Catholic Church should not hesitate to talk about these matters with their parish priest or deacon.

Note that the Catholic Church does not permit a couple to have two wedding services (i.e., in the respective churches of each party). The exchange of marital consent must take place in one worship service, according to one ritual, and is received by one minister.

Presuming that all is in order, what else should we keep in mind?

(1.) Marriage between two Catholics

Marriage must be celebrated according to canonical form, usually within the context of Holy Mass. It must be celebrated in a church building because it is the consecrated place where the People of God worship.

(2.) Marriage between a Catholic and another baptized person

Marriage must be celebrated according to canonical form in a church building, outside the context of Holy Mass. If the non-Catholic party would like his or her minister to participate in the Catholic liturgy, there are some options to consider (e.g., proclaim a Scripture lesson or offer a blessing). However, only the Catholic cleric receives the exchange of vows.

If the couple wants to be married in the church of the non-Catholic party, the Catholic party still makes the aforementioned commitment. The couple continues to participate in the Catholic marriage preparation process. The parish will request the diocesan bishop for the couple to be dispensed from canonical form. If the dispensation is granted, then the presence of a Catholic cleric is not required at the non-Catholic ceremony. However, the Catholic party may desire it. In this case, only the minister of the non-Catholic party may receive the exchange of marital consent.

Either way, the parish will request the diocesan bishop for permission for a marriage of "mixed religion."

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