|
 Gender relations on college campuses are one of
the most controversial topics among undergraduate students. As an African
American woman attending a predominantly white university, the dynamics
between black men and women are of special interest to me. So often I hear
(and at times am part of) the complaints concerning interracial dating
echoing through residence halls across campus. Many African American women
feel that they are being overlooked in the dating pool. Popular culture
champions African American women like Beyoncé Knowles and Halle Berry as
beauty icons, leaving little room for black women who do not share their
physical attributes to receive recognition. Inevitably, issues of beauty are
called into question when darker skinned black women are among those least
dated at predominantly white colleges, less likely to receive leading roles
in Hollywood, and (with the exclusion of publications like Ebony and
Essence) less likely to grace the cover of your monthly magazine.
There are several different approaches that I
pondered taking when asked to write this article. Among the issues I
considered addressing was why many black male undergraduates choose to date
white women, the role of popular culture in defining beauty standards, and
the growing gender gap between professional black men and women. After
careful consideration, I realized however that there was a more pressing
topic that warranted my immediate attention. I am concerned about the
affects that a limited dating pool have on the relationships between black
female undergraduates. How often do we find our spirits overly competitive
and arbitrarily judgmental in terms of our interaction with one another? To
what extent do we allow the dating choices of others (which is out of our
control) to influence our character and behavior as Christians towards each
other (both of which are within our control)?
At times it is difficult to watch our peers make
dating decisions that necessarily exclude us. Unfortunately black women are
often stereotyped as being militant, overbearing, aggressive, and
insensitive. These negative images are only heightened when we turn away
from our sisters instead of depending on each other to combat these damaging
descriptions. We must be cognizant of the need for solidarity among women in
our community, for it is through this commitment to each other that true
friendships flourish. African American women living in the 21st century
descend from a strong, agile, intelligent, and courageous people who
triumphed in the face of adversity. The motives behind which others choose
to date who they do, does not and should not influence our Christian
character or break the bonds of excellence that black women have labored so
long to achieve in this country.
|
|
