My friend and I sat in a coffee
shop the other day, catching up on life and my new marriage. He asked me, "So
what's different now from day one?" After pondering the question for a while, I
responded, "My comfort level." On my wedding day, I confidently said, "I do," on
the altar. Yet, during this first year of marriage, I have become so much more
comfortable with the man I love. The bond of marriage is much more than merely
living together or sharing a last name.
When David asked me to marry him, I said, "Yes!"
with all of my heart. From that moment, I was committed to loving him for life.
However, our promise to each other was not yet a covenant before God and the
Church. With each passing day, my confidence and love increased. During our
six-month engagement, I prepared to make a complete gift of myself: emotionally,
spiritually, physically, and intellectually. Although I was convicted of our
vocation, I was not yet able to share myself fully. When the special day finally
arrived, I was ready to begin our new life together.
Our wedding was not only the culmination of months
of planning, scheduling, sending invitations, and making living arrangements. It
was also the pinnacle of years of praying for my future spouse, for the wisdom
to discern God's will, and the willingness to say, "Yes" whenever God called my
name. My parents always taught me that God might lead me to either a religious
Vocation or to the Sacrament of Marriage. At 21 years old, I committed to serve
the Lord as a wife and, potentially, a mother for the rest of my life. Even with
all of the preparation, David and I needed months of growing and bonding to
become truly comfortable with each other as husband and wife.
I went through so many changes in the first several
months of marriage: moving into our new home together, sharing everything,
learning to show my respect and affection in the best way for David, balancing
my Catholic music ministry with our relationship, etc. At times I felt
overwhelmed by these new experiences. Then God gave us the most exciting
transformation of all, by creating a little child in my womb! The words of Jesus
in John 14:26 came to life for me in a profound way, "The Advocate, the holy
Spirit that the Father will send in my name--he will teach you everything..."
Other translations call the Holy Spirit, "The Comforter." The Holy Spirit allows
me to feel at ease and secure when I would otherwise feel timid and hesitant.
In every occasion of fear, the Holy Spirit
offers good counsel. The Holy Spirit gives me the words to speak to my
husband after we have had a misunderstanding. When I come face to face with
my own weakness, the Holy Spirit is my strength. In the illness of my first
trimester of pregnancy, the Holy Spirit helped me to focus on the dignity
and joy of motherhood. There have been many times when our marriage has felt
more painful than pleasurable. Somehow, when David and I turn to the
Comforter in those trials, the hurt gives way to a deeper love than ever
before. No amount of preparation could accomplish this work of the Lord in
our lives.
Our first year of marriage has been abundantly
blessed. We have so far to go, and so much more to learn. We trust that God
who began a good work in us will bring it to fulfillment (Phil 1:6). I am
thankful for the many changes that the Holy Spirit has guided us through so
far. Our union is more than a symbol of Christ's love for the Church; it is
a participation in the mysterious love of the Trinity. Praise to the Father,
Son, and Holy Spirit, who constantly call us to a greater awareness of this
love with each new day.
Here is my new music video, "With This
Ring"
