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Abstinence Saves Lives
By Amber Unruh Davidson
| Print Version | Discuss Online

Youth Article Index

We've Come This Far By Faith: St. Augustine Parish Youth Ministry About St. Lawrence Abstinence Education Notre Dame's First Black Valedictorian Reconciliation and Holy Eucharist: Two Sacred Sacraments and Blessed Acts Who Am I My life serving in the African American Catholic Community African American Young Adult Ministry is an act of Social Justice It's Time to Walk the Walk Your talents: Gifts from God and a call to action. A Purpose-Driven Life Not My Own Abstinence Saves Lives Our Forgotten Children "Prayer Changes" Pro-Life Pilgrimage If You Don't Know Where You're Going, Any Road Will Take You There Transitioning from High School to College Examination of Conscience PRE-CANA Archdiocese of New Orleans's IMANI Team

Youth Article Index

Please don't stop telling kids they're worth waiting for.

By defunding abstinence until marriage education- that is precisely what we are saying. Young people aren't worth it. They can't do it.

And who is inspired by being told what they can't do?

We must raise the bar. We must keep young people's dreams alive. Dreams of true love, of someone who will love and cherish them, of their wedding day.

I am so thankful that my parents and school never sold out on the message they taught us. They never told us, "Do this because it's the best, but if you don't, then use protection." What a joke. It would be like if we said "Don't drink and drive, but if you do, try not to drive too drunk." Everyone can recognize that is ridiculous. Why? Because we know that even one mistake can cost us in a major way. It can kill. It can hurt hearts. It can cost you a price you don't want to pay.

A young person's life is worth every penny and all of the energies we invest. Youth are the future and we must believe in their futures' with them. We must stand beside them and tell them they can do it. They can make wise decisions for themselves and they deserve to be treated with love and respect. They are smart. They aren't animals who can't control themselves. And there are amazing benefits to waiting to have sex until marriage.

Today, I can say to you that my husband, Bryan, and I were both virgins on our wedding day and we have a trust relationship that is so beautiful. During the 3 ½ years from the time we met leading up to our marriage, Bryan treated me with the utmost respect. I have friends that have had sexual issues to work through because of decisions they made before they were married. I also have friends who made choices they regret but at some point, because they received an abstinence message, they made a decision to stop the behaviors they were engaged in and wait for sexual activity until marriage instead. They gained back respect for themselves.

As these friends have shared with me- I discover that their life choices go back to those in their life who encouraged them (or didn't encourage them) to form healthy relationships with respect. Their parents, their schools, friends they were around, their church - all of these environments were factors to what helped them make choices for themselves.

Inevitably, those who had people in their lives who taught them to delay gratification and to understand that there is a reward for self-control; those are the ones who now are reaping the benefits. Those who had adults in their lives who were AFRAID to hold them to a standard, have ended up left to pick up the broken pieces; those were the ones who got the short end of the stick. And it is so sad to me. They ask me questions and say "Wow- you had so many people encouraging you, no wonder you have an awesome marriage."

Please don't stop encouraging kids to wait to have sex until they are married. Please don't stop telling them they are worth it. Please don't stop investing time and dollars into this message. So much hinges on it. If we lose self-control and respect for ourselves and others in this area, everything unravels. True love lives at the deepest part of our souls and ties everything else together. Don't buy the lies. Kids are worth it. They can do it. They just need you to believe in them.

I'm sick of Planned Parenthood making money off of ruining our future.

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